Don't bring this camping.

The stupidest outdoor gear I have ever seen.

If you pull this out on Everest you might get pushed down the mountain.

Look. I’m a pretty open minded guy.

But this is dumb.

The Rocket Submarine Footbath from DOD Outdoors is the ideal example of asking if we can instead of if we should.

Now I’m not here to shit on a foot bath.

Sounds nice.

In fact, having a nice warm foot bath while outside sounds pretty incredible.

BUT

The idea that you would lug this TWENTY POUND thing out into the woods, set out a little tarp, light a tiny fire, fill it with water, wait for the water to heat up, and then have a foot bath is ludicrous.

And forget the fact that you would need to continuously tend a small fire by your feet.

But, to be fair, you do get to precariously balance a tiny pot of scalding water on a two foot chimney RIGHT ABOVE YOUR FEET.

I HOPE EVERYONE WHO BUYS THIS FINDS THEMSELVES HAVING A FOOT BATH BETWEEN A MOTHER GRIZZLY AND HER CUBS.

She would probably be attracted to the smell of your foot soup.

Sorry I’m so mad, my feet hurt.

be good

z

Season 3 Tom GIF by Parks and Recreation